Loneliness is a child spinning a top on an abandoned sidewalk.
Loneliness is a rose petal that fell on a rock.
Loneliness is the sun… don’t you think it’s lonely? or it is the moon. Don’t you think it’s lonely too? * My Gray feelings hurt me, rising pain of tearing down my heart, leaving sadness of having lost too much, strong desire for being heard by one, to end my never ending: Loneliness. * Sometimes feeling lonely can make you feel nasty. You may think that there is no point in being nice to others because you do not have any friends anyway. But being mean will only make you feel more lonely and unhappy. Feeling lonely can make you feel less confident. You may not want to go to school or work because being with lots of people can make you feel even more alone. * Underlying your fear of rejection might be a fear of being or living alone. You might fear ending up all alone in the world with no one who really cares * Sometimes it can seem as if everyone expect for you has lots of friends. That can make you feel lonely and a bit jealous too. Feeling lonely can make you nervous about making new friends. * The thought of being all alone in the world is not in itself something to panic about. While some people panic at the thought–others delight at the thought. If you believe that you can take care of your own needs well and be happy even if you are alone, then being alone is nothing to fear. If you believe that you need others to take care of you and “make” you happy, then you are too dependent on others and their absence is something to “panic” about. * But spare me the epitomes of loneliness, for if I were the sun or the child, the dog, or the rose petal Loneliness would be a top spinning by the hand, the sun shining for the world, the moon glowing for the night, and a rose petal falling for the ground… * Examine the degree to which you can create your own happiness–even when alone. Examine how too much dependence on others for happiness can undermine your feelings of confidence with others and lead to fear of rejection. *From our heads to our toes, we are all different. But where you are big or small, or your skin is black or white, we are all people who deserve friendship and respect. It can feel lonely if someone is unkind, or leaves you out because you are different from them. People who do this miss out on good friendships.*Learning how to create your own happiness alone is a key part of building self-confidence and overcoming fears of rejection and loneliness. As long as you do not believe that you can create your own happiness and enjoy life alone, then you will be less confident and more dependent on others’ creating your happiness. This dependence makes being in a relationship much more important, and therefore increases anxiety about being alone and increases fears of rejection. For example I have had many clients who thought they could only be happy if they get married and have a family. Yet some were fearing age would overtake their ability to have children, and no partner was in sight. They developed a terror of not having their happy family dream come true and living their lives alone. That fear caused a desperate need to marry. They became very “needy,” manipulative, and scared potential partners away. As their desperation rose, their chances sank.* If you don’t have many interests which you enjoy alone, it is important to begin exploring and finding more. If you have few interests that you can do alone, because you have spent most of your life either with other people or doing what others wanted you to do, then it is especially important for your own independence that you explore new potential interests. You can learn to like activities you currently don’t like. Remember this, if many other people love this activity there must be some fun in it. All you need to do is learn how to enjoy it. Stevens, Tom. “Loneliness/Rejection” csulb. 2005. 22 June. 2007. <http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/c-rejct.htm>Dian, Diana. “Rainbow Drops” royalflowers. January. 2006. 22 June. 2007. <http://www.royalflower.blogpost.com/2005-12-01-archive.htm>Avon, Von. “Loneliness” Thoughts. 12 May. 2006. 22 June. 2007. http://www.thoughts.avangelina.del?tag=loneliness
Levete, Sarah. Making Friends. Brookfield: Copper Beech Books, 1996.
